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Editorial: 2nd Edition – Letter to the UCC Freshman

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Dear Freshman,

As I write this letter, am readying to enter fourth year in this school we call UCC. Trust me, its no mean feat. And I therefore pray you take whatever I write here seriously. Well, to some extent. I know the nooks and crannies of this school.

I visited the UCC website and saw your tuition fees. O my goodness! I felt sorry for some of you. But dont worry ok, its just cos of the rise of the dollar. Your predecessors arrived in this school very haphazardly. I hope yours would be better organised.

First of all, let me congratulate you for making it to this school. I heard the story of a certain ‘lost’ student who was happy he had received another letter from another university-a university I would not want to mention for now. Can you imagine?!! You forgo UCC for what else? it’s like seeing Titus Sardine and going for a certain canned fish that starts with ‘D’ and ends with ‘lay’.(Please I havent mentioned anyone’s name o).

I dont want to describe how you felt when you held that admission letter. You even put the envelope under your pillow. It dawned on you that all the forty five NOV DECs you wrote had finally paid off. Weldone!

As you enter the magnificent gates of this University, delete all notions you had about this school from your head. Hurry, am waiting for you. Are you done? Ok, good. I remember a current 2nd year student asking me a question when he arrived on campus. He was like, “Molecular Biology & Biotech and Biochemistry, which one is more ‘guy’? it was there I knew that most of you come here even more confused. Never underestimate any programme of study. It’s a levelled playing ground. Whatever you read in school has very little bearing on what you would do in the future.

Your predecessors impressed me with their use of the ‘School Bus Road’. For those of you who dont know what it is, its the scenic interchange that connects OldSite to Science through the Apewosika Highway. it was the second semester of my second year I first travelled on that route to Oldsite. Over a year and half before the school bus road blessed my feet. However, some of the level 200s now even walked on that road to their matriculation!! Ah, how? Please don’t be chisel like the current 200s. Thats why there’s a shuttle station. Go and board the shuttle!

Some of you, in your SHS, you had the platform. When you spoke, it was final. You were the shark in the whole school and you think you are still going to hold that accolade here in UCC. Haha, you write your first quiz and you will see that your ‘sharkness’ is tweaaaa kraa. You will see levels of sharkness.
They will tell you at matriculation that you already have ‘4.0’ GPA and that you are supposed to defend it.

Allow me to ask this question. Can you earn something you have not worked for? How can they possibly tell you that you have 4.0 when you haven’t even written you first quiz? Until your first GPA comes in, just have in mind that you have a GPA of 0.0! You don’t have any to defend!

Take a look at your fingers. Are they the same? No, they arent. When you get to campus, don’t watch anyone’s lifestyle to live yours. Dont look at anyone’s clothes and belittle what your parents have suffered to provide for you. In this iPadic and iPhonic world, you may be intimidated. You would be at Chaplaincy service and while you are busily trying to listen to the preacher, someone would be blocking your view with his/her iPad! Pressure ns3m oo.

And if you can’t cook like me, make Science Market your friend. The only thing confusing about that market are those two gari and beans sellers at the first lane! it’s sometimes very hard to choose which one to go to to have have meal of g)b3.

It would be unfair to write this letter and not talk about Grabbing. Ok, if you don’t know what it is, it’s a verb, that involves you finding a special someone. Now as much as people may not want you to think they want to grab, appuuuu,thats all they think about!(esp the ladies) University fu) di3,saaaaaa.

In my last letter, I told you about a certain lady who gave me a cold shoulder. Well, that lady is now my friend, and it’s past. I would tell you about another experience I had. Ladies, could you skip this portion pls?

Home boy, charlie,it was an AfroStat lecture oo, and I was JUST TRYiNG to be nice. I sat at FELT 9 (it was then NLT 3 or so) by this girl. And you know I tried to be casually nice,”Hello,am Jonathan. U?”. The way this lady ‘sized’ me eh!!! Then she mentioned her name most reluctantly.

Embarrassment paa this? At least a smile would have sufficed. It’s not like am on a hit and run mission or something. You know, I see that lady on campus sometimes and when she sees me, she looks at me in a wierd way bi. But you know, the African Studies class wasn’t bad at all. Good things came out of it. Dont ask me what. I wont tell you.

Ladies, you can now read on. Dear lady, not every guy who wants to talk to you wants to sleep with you la! There are wonderful guys out there who want to be JUST FRiENDS k3k3 with you. Of course, there are bad nuts out there. Use all your instincts as a woman to decipher. And as mum told you,”Send a human being home”.

You will be one of the first freshers who wold come to this school and not meet a new SRC President. Herhh, last sem, ns3m! Ns3m! Ooo daabi. it was crazy. Elections is serious business here. You would wonder how students just like yourself are able to raise huge sums of money for campaigns. You will hear of so n so aponkye cup, koko and the like. The annoying thing is that, some too after all the campaign are disqualified due to petty reasons like GPA inadequacy.
I wont say Casford is the best hall (even though its obvious), cos the ATL guys would not be happy with that. If you are blessed to be affiliated to any of these two halls,dont allow the continuing students to sow emnity in your hearts. There’s no score to settle.

Enjoy your hall, whether Adehye, ATL, Oguaa at the OldSite or Nkrumah, Valco and Casford. It’s something you would hold in your heart forever. However, if you are a lady and you realise in your admission letter that you have been given Casely Hayford hall, just know that the witches in your village are working overtime.

Being on campus as a first year can be stressful. Don’t be afraid of those false threats about CommSkills. It’s the ‘cheapest’ course in the school, trust me. Brofo k3k3! it’s a GPA booster.

There are days you would not even want to go for lectures, but you have to. Make good friends. This is the only place you can make quality friends. Build yourself. Your interpersonal skills. Learn hard. Have good fun. Never forget your God. Some of you, you come to school and its like a church holiday for you. Thats bad. As I said in my last letter, I worship with Pentefel, you can join me there.

When you see me, call me; The name is Jonathan Adjetey Mensah.. luv u… God bless you.

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